


[Good Omens] A Leap Of Faith

by EmpyrealSakaki



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 6000 Years of Pining (Good Omens), And They Are Little Bitches, Angst, Archangel Raphael Crowley (Good Omens), Cherub Aziraphale (Good Omens), Ducks, Eve and Crowley Are Friends, God Is Kind You Guys Are Just Mean, Good Omens Fan Exchange, Its A Lie They Are Pining, Minor Depiction Of Strangling, Minor Violence, Other, Pining Idiots, Pre-Fall (Good Omens), You Can Take Aziraphale And Crowley Relationship As Romantic Or Platonic, drunk scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 16:38:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20312668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpyrealSakaki/pseuds/EmpyrealSakaki
Summary: "So… Still watching the Gate so they..." Raphael shook his head, as if he didn't want to keep talking, "you know… don´t get in here?"Aziraphale grunted, annoyed, and even somewhat uncomfortable. "Of course." He paused for a long time, and then spoke, “I heard that they are no longer called angels.”“What? They are angels, what are they calling them now? They are angels.” Another pause. “Fallen, but they are angels.”"I think just like you, I don't agree either." Aziraphale took the longest pause of all of them, perhaps because he was looking for the right words, perhaps because he feared that saying those words was a bad omen. “They call them demons.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can find this work in Spanish here: [**[Good Omens] Un Salto De Fe**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316499)

_Nightingale_, the bird thought, was not a bad name. It was fancy. The First Man was doing a splendid work, or, at least, he had got lucky. Of course, others were less fortunate than him, like the peacock, the hammerhead shark, or the platypus.

Well, maybe platypus' problem was not its name at all.

The list of nameless animals was long, and because of that, Adam would be busy for some time. Some animals stayed at the place, and they tried to guess who woud be the next one to get a stupid name, or chose better names for themselves. However, the nightingale's eyes were hurting because God's Grace and Divine Light, who was there checking that everything was alright, and so he decided to rest his sight a little bit.

The nightingale landed in a tree branch and started grooming himself without worrying about predators, since there were no predators to worry about in the Garden of Eden.

A voice drew his attention.

It wouldn't be until the fifth millenium that a man would go crazy and say that talking to plants made them grow better, so the nightingale was surprised to see Archangel Raphael whispering to all bushes, trees and vines he came upon to. He didn´t know what he was saying, but plants became impossibly green when he walked by their side.

The nightingale flew towards him.

"Hi! How are you?" Raphael greeted. He took a hair lock as red as fire and put it behind his ear, so the bird could remain at his shoulder. "Do you come from the meeting? Do you have a name already?"

The nightingale tweeted.

"That's nice, I'm glad Adam is doing a good work. What's your name, then? Do you like it?"

The nightingale tweeted twice. Raphael's golden eyes shone as stars.

"Nightingale! Cool name, I love it."

Raphael started walking again. The nightingale sat in his shoulder for a while, contented with not having to fly. The angel kept praising every blade of grass he stepped on: if any of them withered after he got through, he touched it with the caduceus he held in his left hand and made it come to life again. Sometimes, he sang little melodies that cheered plants up, and that were suspiciously similar to the first notes of some songs from a band that, years later, would be called _Queen_.

After a while, Raphael stopped at a clearing, and he gave the impression of being looking for something. After some seconds, he frowned and took the little bird between his hands, who seemed to be so comfortable tangled up in his hair that he was probably thinking of laying some eggs there.

"Do you know where Eve is?," he asked, with a pout. "I need to see her, but I don't find her anywhere."

The nightingale gazed at him with his little black eyes for an instant. Silently, he flew away. Raphael shrugged, and followed the bird.

Not much later, he reached one of the rivers that flowed through the Garden of Eden.

"Raphael!"

The First Woman was kneeled by the edge of the river, surrounded of curious animals that weren't frightened by the humans yet. Eve smiled to Raphael, and he smiled back. He got closer and leaned over her to see  
what she was doing, because whatever it was had made her vanish from sight all the morning.

Raphael noticed something shining in Eve's hands. She had pieces of some bright material that could blind anyone who looked at it for too long and perfectly reflected the sunlight. Raphael took one of them.

"Do you know what is this?," Eva asked, moving one of the pieces around to make it shine. "I found a lot in the river, so many I had to toss some of them to the water again."

"This," Raphael answered with a smile, "is a gold nugget."

"Gold?"

"It was born in the stars that light the nights," Raphael said, and his voice was too ceremonious.

"How fancy," teased Eve, and Raphael glared at her, because he thought it had been cool. "It is beautiful, what it is for?"

"Things don't have to serve a purpose." Raphael sat and crossed his legs, and invited Eve to do the same. "We are who give things a purpose, as God gave ours to us."

"And your purpose is...?"

"Look, if you don't let me finish I'm gonna fight you." Raphael frowned, but there wasn't any real threat in his words. He cleared his throat, and kept talking. "Say, did finding gold in the river bring you happiness?"

Eve resigned, and played along. "Well... Yes. It is like... Having a little sunrise between my hands."

"Then that will be its purpose." Raphael grinned and gave the little gold nugget back to her.

"Are you done with the Enlightened Angel number already?"

"Yeah."

Both stuck his tongues out at the same time, and laughed about it. Then, they watched the water run through the earth for some minutes.

Raphael valued Adam, and he really thought highly of his strenght and his concern for all things great and small. However, Eve was special. They had grown fond of each other, and they always played games or talked about anything, and sometimes they even conspired together to prank Adam, some animal, or some distracted angel.

He made a pair of apples appear out of thin air with a blink, and he gave one of them to a thankful Eve. Biting his, Raphael put his feet in the water, wanting to get lost in thought. However, his eyes desviated to the motive of his visit. It would take some months more, but Eve's belly already stood out. She seemed to notice his gaze, because she closed her eyes and caressed her skin.

Then, she took one of the golden pieces that were in the grass, and in the same formal tone they were using just moment ago, she said, "I shall gift my son with these blessings, so he can be happy, too."

Raphael gave her an annoyed look, but said nothing. Despite everything, he placed his fingers on the delicate skin of his belly to make sure everything was going correctly. Eve did not move, as it was a regular thing for them. Raphael's gentle touch and the feeling of his powers gave her a feeling of confidence and security. However, she always felt anxious, wanting to know if everything would work out in the impending birth. With her fingertips she nervously went over the length of one of the snakes that decorated Raphael's caduceus, something his owner noticed.

"Don't worry," Raphael said, taking his hand from her. “Everything is ok. The kid´s gonna be fine.”

"Thank you, that´s a relief."

"Have you thought of a name yet?"

Eve shook her head. "Adam gives me ideas every day, but I can't decide. Maybe we´ll wait for him to be born.”

"Well, at least you know that if Adam names him, it won't be his first time," Raphael replied. “He's doing a great work naming the animals.” Then, he winked. “I would say that even She is jealous of how well he is doing it.”

This left Eva speechless for a few seconds. Then, she laughed, and gave him a little elbow in the arm. "I can´t believe you... You are so bold, you are the only one who talks about Her in such a sassy way.”

"And you love that."

She stuck out her tongue again, and they laughed.

They chatted for a couple more hours. However, Eve had some pending tasks and couldn´t stay, and Raphael, who still had to go examine part of the Garden, decided not to go with her. He said goodbye to Eve, and they both left in opposite directions.

The nightingale returned not long after, chirping happily, and landed once again on Raphael, this time, on his head. The bird had left to give Eve and Raphel some privacy, but the conversation was over, and he wanted to be with the angel. The stroll continued to be slow, because Raphael, who greatly enjoyed the Garden, liked to spend as much time there as possible.

From time to time, the nightingale gave him little tugs in his hair, indicating the way. Raphael laughed, jokingly complained about it, and followed the bird´s suggestions. He was having fun and doing his job at the same time, so he didn't mind going out of his way.

As he passed through some bushes, he realized that, unintentionally, he had reached one of the great Gates of Eden. The nightingale, who was somewhat excited, squirmed in Raphael's hair, and flew off to the highest point of the wall. He smiled, and opened his white wings to follow the bird. The wall surrounding Eden was high enough that the dangers of the outside did not threaten Adam and Eve or the life of the garden. Passing over it had never been of interest to the animals who were able of crossing it, such as birds or insects. And yet, Raphael wasn´t surprised that the little nightingale had gone there.

Upon reaching the highest part, Rafael landed as quietly as possible. He made sure to make little noise, closed his wings delicately, and stealthily headed towards the distracted guard watching over the Gate, who was facing away from him. Without any regrets, he approached the angel, and pounced on him.

The angel gave an exaggeratedly loud shriek, stumbled on his own feet and protected himself with the flaming sword in his hands in a attempt to defend himself. After a few seconds of confusion, he looked at Raphael with wide, blue eyes. Raphael gave him a mocking smile. The edge of the sword was dangerously close to his nose, although he couldn´t care less about it. With a smug expression, Raphael pushed the sword away with one hand, while making an unnecessarily flashy bow.

"Good heavens, but if it isn´t Cherub Aziraphale! I beg your pardon, I did not think I would see you here.” His tone as he spoke seemed sincere, but the small wrinkles that had formed around his eyes indicated that he was making a great effort to not laugh. “How are you?”

"Raphael!," Aziraphale shouted, with a frown and blushed cheeks. "Stop doing that! You almost gave me a heart attack!

"You´d like that, but being an angel and all..."

"I don´t care if I´m God Herself!" But he instantly realized how blasphemous that was, and suddenly shut up. He hid his face in his hands and his four wings, terribly sorry and apologizing in silence. Then, he glared at him. “Look at what you made me do!”

Raphael smirked.

It wasn´t the first time he teased Aziraphale like that, but Raphael never grew tired of his diverse reactions. They didn't see each other that much, but they both worked in the Garden, and sometimes Raphael dropped by the place to cheer Aziraphale´s shifts up, which used to be monotonous and very, very boring.

"Don't be a drama queen, this is nothing. Do you remember what you said that time Eve and I gave you a pear, and you ate it, but it actually had…?”

“Do not remind me!,” Aziraphale exclaimed, angry and embarrassed at the same time. “I don't know how I wasn´t dismissed that day.”

“Don´t think about it. We ate some pears in your honor. Without surprises in them.”

Both fell silent. Rafael maintained an expression of triumph. Azirafel pouted. It was getting dark, and the orange light of the sunset was reflected by desert sand. The two thought that the dunes resembled fire, although neither of them shared it with the other.

"So… Still watching the Gate so they..." Raphael shook his head, as if he didn't want to keep talking, "you know… don´t get in here?"

Aziraphale grunted, annoyed, and even somewhat uncomfortable. "Of course." He paused for a long time, and then spoke, “I heard that they are no longer called angels.”

“What? They are angels, what are they calling them now? They are angels.” Another pause. “Fallen, but they are angels.”

"I think just like you, I don't agree either." Aziraphale took the longest pause of all of them, perhaps because he was looking for the right words, perhaps because he feared that saying those words was a bad omen.

“They call them demons.”

“Demons.”

“Yes.”

Rafael clicked his tongue. He was sure that the term was created in Archangel Gabriel´s circles, or even by Gabriel himself. Raphael didn´t approve of Lucifer's ideals, who had managed to make half of Heaven rebel; but he wasn´t fond of Gabriel's neither, who through his great patter and oratory skills had convinced the other half that whoever questioned the Supreme Power in any way should be eliminated.

Perhaps it was his nature as a simple Healer, but the confrontation between angels made him feel as if he was the only one who didn´t clarify his ideas. Gradually, Heaven, his home, was becoming a horrible game of chess. Either he was in favor of Her, or he was against Her. And Raphael believed that not everything had to be that way. He loved his Mother above all things, and loved Eve and Adam, and the rest of angels, and the animals and the plants; but he also agreed that angels´ lack of free will was unfair. And he also thought that lack didn´t need a revolution. He thought that everything could be talked, and Raphael was confident that asking Her could make things better.

Unless, of course, the other angels punished him before doing anything, as they had been doing for some time to those who dared to question anything. And people already thought Raphael asked too much for his own good.

He sighed.

"What do you have to say about all of this?," Raphel asked, after thinking for a long, long time, so long that the stars could already be seen in the sky.

“Me? What?,” Aziraphale said, surprised by the sudden question. “About what, exactly?”

“You know. Revolution. Fallen angels. Free will. Humans. Those things.”

Aziraphale widened his eyes, as if he didn't know what to answer. Then, he hurried to say, "You know what I think."

"No, I don't know."

"Well ... Rebelling is ... wrong. Our Mother gave us life, gave us knowledge, and gave each one of us a function. I don't think that's bad enough to start a... a... a war.”

"Do you think there will be a war?"

Aziraphale did not answer. Raphael began to spin the caduceus on his own axis, unsettled, and spoke again.

“But, wouldn´t you like to have the freedom that Adam and Eve and the rest of creations have to do what they please?”

“No! Of course…! Of course not.”

"You sound insecure. I love my job, but you hate watching the Gate, right? Wouldn't you rather do something else?”

"I wouldn't say hate," Aziraphale said, and crossed his arms. “And free will isn´t just that.”

"Yes," Raphael murmured. He looked down, reluctant to continue. “I don´t think that being able to choose whether your actions are good or bad is something bad.

"Raphael!," Aziraphale screamed. His voice was surprised, and sad. And for some reason, disappointed. He promptly grabbed his arm and pulled Raphael toward him, until their faces brushed slightly, and he lowered his tone until his words were not much more than a hoarse whisper. “Do you know what could happen to you if someone hears you saying something like that? Do you know it, Raphael?”

Raphael responded with a disapproving noise, but said nothing. He softly got rid of Aziraphale's grip and smoothed his tunic, thinking.

Then, he looked at the sky, looking for any distraction that would ease his feelings. Raphael couldn´t help but notice his most recent creation, a small binary star system that still lacked a nice name. They were beautiful, although he had made the mistake of putting them so close that they looked like a single star.

Actually, he liked it better that way. They reminded him of Adam and Eve.

Perhaps one day he would give them the privilege of naming those stars.

"Raphael."  
  
Then, he stopped daydreaming and found Aziraphale´s eyes on him. At night, discerning the expression on his face was an impossible task. However, the other's wings gave him some clues. They were moving slightly, even if there wasn´t any wind at the moment, and his white feathers seemed to glow more than usual.

“What?”

A cricket they hadn´t noticed until then stopped singing.

"I don't want you to... I don't want you to get in trouble.”

“What?”

“Promise me."

Raphael blinked in the dark, not knowing very well how to act. Seconds later, he smiled.

"Sure, Aziraphale. But you promise me, too.”

Offended, Aziraphale looked at him, and needed no words to say that it was impossible for him to get into any trouble. However, he smiled back and nodded strongly.

They shook hands, sealing the arrangement.

Neither of them would fulfill it.

Being ethereal beings, angels don´t need to sleep. They think of it as blasphemy. However, they have breaks and like to spend out some leisure time when they don´t have to work. Since it was night when every mortal creation slept and the Garden was quiet, angels liked to use that time to rest, talk with their friends, or do whatever angels do when they were bored.

Raphael liked to walk. In Earth, he could do a lot of things, like hanging out with Aziraphale, gossiping with Eve or taking care of the plants.; however, he was forbidden of being in the Garden when he was not working. So, when he was in Heaven, instead of meeting up with other angels Raphael walked alone under his most great creation. Stars were clearer and brighter there, and that allowed him to imagine some new designs, or to point out mistakes he could fix later.

Furthermore, he could observe their beauty.

That night, Raphael had decided to walk by what he considered a boring imitation of Eden. There weren´t any plants or animals, of course, because angels didn´t like to be reminded of their earthly work when they were in Heaven. But there was a river of light flowing by the place, and some pillars with floral pattters raised above his head. It wasn´t the Eden, but it helped him to think.

The conversation with Aziraphale had left him an uneasy feeling. Did he really believe there was going to be a war in Heaven? It was true that some of his brothers had Fallen, among them, Lucifer. Some of them thought it was unfair of Her to love the humans more than angels, Her perfect creations; and some others that it was time for a change of leader.

Raphael bit his lip, trying to come up with an answer for it all. While a lot of angels had blasphemed and gone against Her Reign, a few others had Fallen just because they had expressed their opinions. For him, neither of the two extremes were right.

He knew what Heaven, Aziraphale included, thought of him. He was the only one of the four Archangels that had attended every Lucifer´s speech when he was worthy of being in Heaven. But no one seemed to understand he did it because he was curious, because he wanted to know what were the thoughts of the Morningstar, who had created chaos and doubt among angels. And perhaps, he had hoped he could talk with them and with Her, and that She could stop that madness. Yes, that way, Fallen angels could come back home.

A noise startled him. Surprised, he turned around.

Raphael could distinguish someone wandering not too far from where he was. He followed their movements for a few seconds. Their steps weren´t precise. Instead, Raphael had the impression that they were trying to hide between the pillars. However, he was too intrigued. There were never angels in that place.

“Hello?”

The stranger looked at him like a frightened deer, as if he hadn´t noticed him there. Raphael tightened his hand around the caduceus as the other emerged from the shadows. Then, he relaxed: it was a Domination who worked with Gabriel and his employees.

However, he knew him too because he had seen him listening to Lucifer´s speeches.

His name was Reshariel.

“Archangel Raphael?,” said Reshariel, with bright eyes. “Is it you?”

“Yes, it´s me.”

“Oh, thank goodness!”

Reshariel looked to the right and the left, and he gave the impression of being afraid of someone spying on them. When he made sure nobody was there, he got out from behind a pillar and carefully approached him.

Actually, Raphael didn´t know him that much. He had only seen him a few times in his life. However, he felt something odd when he saw him.

He tried to find out what was wrong. The Domination in front of him was Reshariel, but at the same time, it didn´t seem like it was him. Similar to an optical illusion. He looked at him from top to bottom, confused, but the more he looked at him the less he understood it. Something was out of place, but he couldn´t put his finger on it.

Then, he stopped at his face. It was as he remembered it: physically, he was perfect, like all Her creations. It was what defined angels. A line of small, shiny diamonds around his cheeks was his main trait, and even if he hadn´t seen him in years, Raphael knew neither of them had been altered in any way. Finally, he concluded that, whatever it was, it had changed imperceptibly.

But that was stupid. Angels were immutable, unalterable. Their bodies and their auras didn´t change just like that. She had made them that way. The only ones who were unfortunate enough to change to a point nobody could recognise them, as the rumors said, were...

"Raphael, you don't know how relieved I am of finding you here...." Reshariel got closer with an troubled expression. He had his wings folded behind his back, hidden from sight.

"I´ve been looking for you for days. You are the only follower of Lucifer I have seen in a long time.”

...the Fallen.

Raphael noticed with terror some black feathers in the almost hidden wings of Reshariel.

"Lucifer?" Raphael swallowed, and stepped back. "Are you a Fallen angel?"

"Maybe in a couple of days. It's slow when you do it yourself. For now, I've been hiding from the... big guys. Don't wanna Fall by their hand, you know?"  
Hearing the words 'big guys' coming from a Dominion, who belonged to the highest choir of angels, made him shudder. However, he was too curious. "Dominion Reshariel, right? What did you do to Fall?"

"Oh, kid, you don't really want to know."

"I'm sure it isn't..."

"A big deal?," Reshariel said. "I can guarantee you I made sure it was a big deal. Don't be concerned."

Raphael felt how his lips unintentionally began to tremble, but he keep himself together. Afterall, the person in front of him was a brother of his, not an enemy. A brother in need of help.

"Look, whatever it is, I'm sure we can talk it out with someone. It's not too late... " Reshariel gave him a confused look, and Raphael added, "Aren't you scared of Falling?"

"Why? I've been waiting for too long. It was hard, but it's happening, finally," Reshariel said, getting even closer. With a toothy smile, he studied Raphael's wings thoroughly. "No black feathers yet?"

"No! Listen, I know your situation is complicated..."

"Your?"

"...but I'm quite sure that if we just reach the right people, we could get all this sorted out."

Reshariel broke out in laughter, and even if Raphael knew his ideas were stupid, he couldn't help but feel upset. He bit his lower lip, ashamed. However, Reshariel closed the distance between them both, and talked in a low voice.

"Look, kid, let's stop beating around the bush. I need a favour."

"A favour," Raphael echoed. His wings shivered, showing his hesitance. He tried to hide it, but Reshariel noticed it.

"I've been talking to...” he whispered, and pointed to the ground," you know. We figure that in less than a week enough people will have Fallen. We could break in."

"Break in?"

"Could you do something better than parroting people?"

"..."

"Listen here. You have to find out weak points in the wall of the Eden, guard shifts, ranks, weapons, everything you can get. We have some people Below that know a little about it, but you are the only one who really works there." He smiled, and patted him in the shoulder. "Now that I think of it, your white wings are very convenient. It's just what we need, nobody will doubt you.

Reshariel's last words blended with the sound of the wind going through the pillars. But wind didn't exist in Heaven, only in Earth. Raphael shivered again.

"May I ask... why?," Raphael said, frowning.

Reshariel looked pleased and excited, as if Raphael had finally asked him the right question. He wrapped him under his arm and brought him closer, like a child, invading his personal space. It was a thing no angel did.

"You're going to like it. We're going to fuck up the bigwig's little paradise. We will blow up the four gates, kill all the guards and fuckers we see... They found new ways to kill angels, you know? And they aren't even remotely painless, no. Then we will get to catch those happy idiots in the garden. Lucifer will have their heads." Reshariel licked his lips in a morbid way. "Then, we'll gather and burst in here. When Lucifer..."

Raphael stopped listening. Under the weight of Reshariel's body, who excitedly pushed and shook him like a useless ragdoll, his legs started to wobble. He only could stand thanks to his caduceous, and he would have fallen to the ground due to the sickness the brutal details were making him feel. Reshariel kept talking, and his words became more and more cruel for every second that passed.

And Raphael had something no other angels had. A huge imagination.

Images of Adam, Eve, and a myriad of terrible tortures passed by Raphael head. He then thought of the criatures of the Garden and all its vegetation, burning in that new kind of fire Reshariel was excitedly speaking of, and then the air seemed to be a little too much hot, stopping him from opening his eyes, and every angel, his brothers, screamed and cried in pain, and among them...

Raphael gasped and covered his mouth, snapping out of his train of thoughts.

Aziraphale.

"You can't do that!," he yelled, without thinking.

Reshariel ceased his talk, and looked at him for a long second. He closed his cold, blue eyes, and pressed his lips in a thin line. For a moment he just hesitated, and then, his face became a strange mix of amusement and disappointment.

"What the hell are you saying, kid? Do you have another plan or something like that?"

"No, I don't... It's just," Raphael said, and he tried to find the right words. "I think the fire thing… and the torture... It's going a little bit... overboard?"

"Overboard," Reshariel repeated.

"Yes. No. I mean. I don't understand how destroying the Garden could help Lucifer..."

"Mmh." Reshariel touched his chin, as if he were thinking. "It doesn't. It just revenge. Nothing else."

"Just revenge."

Reshariel's expression changed, like he had just realized something, "You always were with Lucifer and his followers, so... Are you... scared of being another 'Fallen angel'?" Are you? Because I've seen people like you down there, and..."

"..."

"Or could it be... that you don't share Lucifer's beliefs?"

"I have never condoned what Lucifer does."

Reshariel yelled, and he showed all his teeth when he did, "Everyone talks about the Archangel who always went to all Lucifer's speeches! You couldn't possibly be trying to hide now!"

"I have never condoned what Lucifer does!," Raphael repeated, louder. "I just wanted to understand his way of thinking, and why he did what he did! I would never betray our Mo—

A suffocating pressure over his throat muted his voice.

Reshariel lifted him with a single hand and threw him against a pillar, grabbing him still. Raphael's wings suffered the impact, and he groaned when a strong wave of pain hit him. His caduceus fell to the ground, useless. Terrified, he looked for someone around him. There was no one to ask for help.

It was the first time he was attacked by one of his brothers, and he had never thought that the mere sight of one of them could paralyze him in fear. He had only heard rumors about those attacks, but now, he was the victim.

Then, he felt Reshariel´s vast power, and Raphael realized how the Domination had just spilled the plan to him, who he had believed to be an ally.

He wouldn´t let him escape.

“Oh, my,” Reshariel said, tightening the grip. Raphael hissed through the pain. “Guess you don´t really follow the rebellion.”

Raphael couldn´t speak, and he gave him a determined but terrified look as an answer. Reshariel´s face was cold, like there wasn´t any sanity left in him. Raphael closed his his fists so they would stop trembling, but it failed.

“So, does the Archangel Raphael really believe he can trick me?,” Reshariel said, and Raphael couldn´t help but thinking he hadn´t trick him in any way. “Does the Archangel Raphael really believe,” He pressed his huge body against Raphael´s, and his wings started to hurt so much he whined, “he can do as he pleases without suffering the,” Reshariel´s free hand found his way to Raphael´s side, and there he sank his fingers in an agonizing clutch, causing him a terrible pain, “consequences?”

A scream disrupted the situation.

“Stop! Cease your acts right now, you fiend!”

Fire burnt near his faces, and Raphael, barely knowing what was happening around him, felt his stomach churning at the sight of Aziraphale who, with a severe expression, was holding his flaming sword with his two hands right in front them.

Reshariel was in shock, as he didn´t expect something like that to happen. Raphael saw fear take control of Reshariel, who cowered because of the presence of the powerful Cherub. He tried to keep giving the impression of being a threat, but the hand over Raphael´s throat went rigid.

However, Raphael noticed how said Cherub was trembling even more than his own sword. His brave face couldn´t hide his doubts, and Raphael, even if he was scared, pitied him.  
Reshariel released Raphael, who fell and hit the ground with a big noise. Then, he unfolded his wings and showed all his feathers as a warning. Almost all of them were white, but the secondary ones were of a jet black color. Aziraphale flinched like Raphael had done before, but he firmly held his ground.

“What are you going to do? Are you going to kill me?” Reshariel grinned. “Are you going to kill one of your brothers?”

“You are no longer a brother of mine!,” Aziraphale said.

“Are you going to risk losing mommy´s grace?”

Even if his voice trembled with fear, his words had a huge impact on him, “You are just a demon cornering a loyal server of the Almighty! I suggest you to flee in this instant, you foul fiend, if you don´t want to die in this place!”

From the ground, Raphael noticed the hesitation in Reshariel´s eyes, and how he let out a nervous laugh. “You´re bluffing. You aren´t...”

To Raphael´s surprise, Aziraphale closed the distance and wielded his sword, meeting his attacker´s neck. Flames licked and burnt his skin, but the Domination, even as painful as it was, didn´t dare to move.

Aziraphale clenched his jaw.

“My duty is to protect the Eastern Gate of the Garden of Eden, and all our Mother´s creations,” he announced, and his irises glowed with a dangerous light. “If your existence threats the safety of any of those things, I shall not hold back.”

The three looked at each other, still for some seconds. Raphael swallowed even if it hurt him doing so, and observed the other two from the ground. He feared that Reshariel could ignore the pain in his neck and attack Aziraphale, or that Aziraphale could forget his doubts and did the same to Reshariel. However, no one went forward the other.

After an eternity, Reshariel seemed to give up, and with a deep, unnatural growl he ran away fom the place and got lost in the darkness.

Aziraphale didn´t move until the Domination was gone. Then, he fell to his knees and sighed, relieved, as he put his hand in his chest in an exaggerated way. No one said nothing: Raphael could barely talk, and Aziraphale needed some time to recover.

“Oh, Lord,” he muttered after a while, leaving his sword next to him. The sound of the metal against the ground made them jump a little in surprise. “what a pain. A second more and—“

“You would have passed out,” Raphael said with a grin. Talking was too much of an effort, and he coughed.

“No, I didn´t say that.”

“Yeah. But you were going to...”

“No, I wasn´t going to!” Aziraphale frowned, but he wasn´t really angry. He twisted his mouth and tried to appear to be mad. “I am a guard, I´m trained for this kind of situations.”

“Yeah.”

“It´s my job.”

“What you just said.”

“I´m being serious.”

“Of course.”

Aziraphale got up using his sword as a support, and approached Raphael. He gave him a cryptic look, but Raphael could discern, reluctantly, great regret in them. Aziraphale kneeled before Raphael and checked his wounds. When he was close enough, Raphael touched his arm, trying to give him comfort.

He bit his lip, and whispered, “Hey, it´s not your fault.” Aziraphale gasped, as he had not expected that. Raphael cleared his throat. “There are lots of scared angels. It isn´t that weird, considering they are Falling one by one… It could have happened to anyone.”

“I could have arrived sooner,” Aziraphale said, sadly.

“It would have been the same. The thing is, you arrived.” Not knowing what to say, he repeated, “It could have happened to anyone.”

“Not to you.”

Then they stopped talking again, and Raphael understood that what pained Aziraphale the most wasn´t that he had almost attacked one of his own kind, but that Raphael had been the victim.

Aziraphale touched Raphael´s neck as if it were the most fragile thing in the world. The marks made by Reshariel´s fingers were perfectly visible, as were the little bloody wounds caused by his sharp nails. Raphael blinked.

“Does it hurt?,” Aziraphale asked, with half – closed eyes.

Raphael, who hadn´t even paid attention to his injuries, babbled something that Aziraphale couldn´t hear and brought his hand to his neck, briefly touching Aziraphale´s hand. Instantly, all the wounds in his throat and his side disappeared, and his wings stopped hurting. Then, he said, “Good thing I´m the Archangel of Healing. Yeah.”

“I´m glad,” Aziraphale said, smiling. Raphael couldn´t help but smile back.

Some voices far from them alerted them. Both decided, without words, to get up, since neither of them was hurt. Aziraphale straightened his robes, and Raphael stretched his wings, for they were still tingling even if his powers had healed them. Then, he took his caduceus, which was without harm. They looked at each other, but they didn´t know what to say.

The dark atmosphere heavily influenced them, and they felt as they were drowning in it. Aziraphale would experience more betrayals like that one for the next six thousand years, but this was the first time he had been attacked by another angel. They were no longer safe in Heaven.

Aziraphale was the first one to talk, but he tilted his head when he did it.

“My shift in the Garden is starting soon. I should go before I am late.”

Raphael opened his eyes, and said, “Aren´t… Aren´t we going to report what just happened?”

“Er.”

“He could, I don´t know, attack someone else?,” Raphael continued, with doubts.

“Um.” Aziraphale seemed to be sad. “You could report him, too...”

“The Boss already knows what has happened.” Raphael said, and Aziraphale nodded.

Raphael looked at Aziraphale, and although there weren´t any tears in his eyes, they were red and puffy, as if he were about to cry. And then, Raphael realized his eyes likely were like Aziraphale´s, if not worse.

Neither of them wanted to sentence that poor soul. They thought doing so would be like betraying his kind. It was a stupid, dangerous thought, but they didn´t dare to report the attack. That would mean the Domination´s death. And he was still an angel. They couldn´t condemn him.

For beings created before Time, the sudden, twisted changes brought by Lucifer´s rebellion were taking them to the limit. Everyone was terrified and confused, no matter if they were angels or demons, and nobody knew what was actually happening. Nobody but Her.

That was the thing that bothered Raphael the most.

She knew everything, right? She was omniscient and omnipresent. She knew what was happening, and what was going to happen.

What was going to happen.

The plan.

Lucifer´s plan.

The Garden. Eve. Adam. Aziraphale.

“Raphael, are you ok?,” Aziraphale asked. Raphael realized he had been thinking for a few solid minutes, and that he was probably hyperventilating. They didn´t need to breath, so he didn´t knew.

“Yeah. No. I´m sorry.” Raphael sighed, and he touched his mouth, distressed. “I´m just… I have to… I have to talk to Her.”

Aziraphale gasped. “I thought we weren´t going to report...”

“I´m not going to,” Raphael said. “I need…” Aziraphale´s cries as he was engulfed by the flames took over his mind, and he cringed. “I need to know if there is a way to fix this. Falling angels. I don´t want...”

“People to suffer?,” Aziraphale helped. Raphael nodded. “I understand. I don´t share your beliefs, but I wish for this to end once and for all, and for angels to return home.

They walked in silence for some time, but Aziraphale talked again.

“And you are going to see Her just like that?”

Raphael shrugged, but he pulled a worried face. “I have to do something, if I don´t...” He felt sick as his imagination backfired at him again. “If I don´t, something terrible will happen.”

“Something… Something horrible, you say?”

Raphael sighed. “I have to do something,” he repeated, more for himself than for Aziraphale. “If I have to break in in the Throne Hall, I will.”

“Raphael!,” Aziraphale said, took by surprise. “You told me you weren´t going to get into trouble. What will be of you if…?”

“Don´t worry,” Raphael said, although he wasn´t all that sure of it. “Look, so you can calm down: in an hour, before sunrise, I´ll met you at the Gate.”

Aziraphale sighed, defeated, and looked at him with sad eyes. Raphael didn´t know if it was because of his decision or because he was worried that he would be attacked again. Knowing him, probably both.

“Ok, but only if...” Aziraphale looked at one side and the other. “Only if you bring me something to eat. If you don´t, I won´t let you come to the Gate.”

Raphael broke in laughter. “Oh, you glutton!”, he exclaimed, and he patted him in the shoulder. Then, his laugh faded in a small, honest smile, with little dimples in his cheeks. “Alright, Aziraphale. What does His Majesty want to eat?”

“Um...” Aziraphale muttered, and all sadness had already disappeared from his face. With a cat-like expression, he said, “what do you think about pears?”

“Your wish is my command.”

“Without surprises.”

“Without surprises.”

Aziraphale´s two pairs of wings vibrated with joy, and Raphael´s only pair followed them on its own accord. Both laughed again. Then, Aziraphale approached Raphael, and mindlessly put his hand over Raphael´s, which was holding the caduceus. Raphael looked at him, interested.

“I have to go, or they will tell me off,” Aziraphale said. He caressed Raphael´s fingers, and then he followed the line of one of the serpents in his caduceus. “See you in the Gate?”

“Of course.”

For the thousandth time in the day, their eyes met, saying a lot of things that were impossible to express with words. Happiness. Tiredness. Fondness. Hope. Fear. Doubts. Something stopped them from talking  
about the attack. Aziraphale wanted Raphael to understand how much he cared, and how he feared that something like that would happen again. But the words wouldn´t come out.

He hugged him.

Raphael felt weird. Not because the hug, something Aziraphale usually did, but because he was extremely sensitive because of the earlier situation. However, he made an effort and hugged him back, and it soothed his sinking feeling. He too was afraid of the consequences that trying to talk to Her could bring, and above all, the fate of those whose lifes were in the line.

He didn´t think he were going to success. But he needed to try.

“Please, be safe,” said Raphael.

“You too”

They broke the hug.

“I´ll wait for you at the Gate.”

A brief stutter, and, “Of course.”

They left by different paths.

It was easier than he thought.

There was no one guarding the entrance, no one in the interior instances, no one to stop him. No one to ask for directions. If he remembered well, he hadn't even seen anyone outside the Hall. When walking through the corridors, the only thing he could hear were his steps, the rhythmic pounding of the caduceus on the floor, and the occasional brush of his feathers against the walls when they narrowed.

He had only been there a couple of times, but he was still impressed by how austere and small everything was compared to the rest of Heaven.

A cold sweat ran down his forehead. What would he say to Her? What would he say to make Her reconsider everything? ‘Hey, your Omnipotence, I noticed that punishing our people for all Eternity is, how do I say it, going a little much too far, I beg you to stop’? Rafael tightened his hand around the caduceus with such strenght that, if it hadn´t been a divine instrument, it would probably have broken into pieces. Also, there was no one there, but that didn´t mean he wasn´t afraid of someone stopping him. In any second a Seraph or something of the sort could obliterate his existence with a blink, and that thought was even worse than knowing what he was about to do.

Raphael glanced at his wings every so often, fearing he would suddenly find his feathers had turned black, a sign of his tremendous blasphemy. But they remained uncorrupted.

Without realizing it, he arrived at the doors of the Throne Hall. They weren´t as big or divine as one would expect, but they were big and divine enough to intimidate anyone who dared to lay their eyes on them.  
Rafael breathed in and let it out slowly, trying to calm down.

Everything was going to be okay.

When he was about to open the door, someone else opened it from the inside.

"Come in, dear, don't just stand there," they said, and Raphael knew it was Her.

Rafael did as She said, and asked, "Did you know I was coming?"

"I knew you were coming. And I know why you came.” She paused. Raphael felt dumb for asking. “I still don't know what the result of our conversation will be, though.”

The last time Raphael had had the chance to visit the Throne Room, it did justice to his name: it was a great room with a divine throne formed by Seraphim and Thrones, bathed by Her Light. Raphael had been very nervous, then.

However, upon entering, he was pleasantly surprised.

As if it were a wonderful fragment from Eden itself, a multitude of trees and vines rose above their heads, almost touching the night sky. After all that had happened, the sensation of the fresh grass under his bare feet was just what he needed, as water was to a thirsty man in the desert, and he was grateful for it. A bird flew past, and it was then when he noticed that the forest was full of life, just like the Garden. Each and every one of the sounds emitted by the animals that inhabited Eden could be heard. Rafael took a deep breath, and he found that the smells were just he same.

He smiled.

"I figured that you would feel more comfortable this way," She said, and it was clear that when She talked about ‘figuring’, She really meant ‘knowing’. “It is your favorite place.”

"It is," Raphael answered, quite honestly, "thank you."

She said nothing, but made a gesture of approval. Then, She sat on the grass, and invited Rafael to do the same.

Raphael didn´t really know what to do, and he began to fidget with the caduceus in his hands. It wasn't that he was afraid — of course not, he couldn´t be afraid of who had giften him with life. However, not every day did an Archangel have the opportunity to see Her.  
In an attempt to relax, Raphael stroked a wild flower that was growing beside him, and whispered it a couple of words of encouragement. Although perhaps they were more for himself than for the plant.

For a few minutes they remained this way, in a calm silence. However, Raphael felt Her looking at him, patiently, and cleared his throat.

“Um. Why wasn´t there anyone out there?”

"I told them to leave," She replied, making a vague gesture with Her hand. “You know how they get when they see some ‘intruder’. No matter what I say, they never let anyone in, as if it were an offense to me or something. ” She sighed. “I do not understand them.”

“Oh.”

The Garden, Raphael noticed, was silent. Not a real silence, as the wind, the murmur of the leaves or the conversations between the animals continued to be heard. No, it was a different silence. A pregnant silence. And he realized that this was nothing more than the reflection of Her intentions, and that it was Her who waited for him to speak.

Raphael thought he was about to do the most difficult thing he had ever done, and it was probably true.

"I wanted to talk about... about…" Raphael babbled, after a few minutes of silence. “About... Um.”

"Your brothers," She helped, and her tone seemed distressed.

"Yes, about that." Raphael sighed heavily. Then he stopped for a moment, and gave Her an interrogative look. “I don't want to be rude or anything like that but, why are we having this conversation if you already know how it will end?”

"It's nothing personal, dear. I try... How do I say it... Give you free will. As I said before, I still don´t know how this will end.”

Raphael raised his eyebrows and parted his lips. "But we don't have..."

"I know," She said, somewhat bluntly. “Your mere existence forces you to be good by nature, and those who aren´t, Fall and become demons. And angels cannot be evil, nor demons can be kind, and that is the balance of all things. I know how it works,” And he added, lower, “and I hate it.”

The tree branches began to move with more intensity. Raphael clenched his fist over the caduceus and clung to it.

"I just want to know if there is any way... my brothers could come back.” Raphael said, and he had to make an effort to keep talking. “And prevent their plan from being carried out.”

Then, She looked at him with the eyes of an afflicted mother, and after a few seconds, she whispered, "I... No. There is no ... no way for that to happen. I'm sorry, my son.”

Raphael turned white, and it looked as if he had just been punched in the stomach.

He let out a weak laugh, and forgetting any doubts he had before, he leaned toward Her.

"Come on, that can't... I mean," he said, with another nervous laugh. The lump in his throat made it almost impossible to speak. “You are God. You have to be able... Some way..”.

“This are the way things are. I can´t change it.”

“You can´t do nothing?

“No.”

Raphael felt helpless, and the last hopes he had shattered like glass. And everything he had lived hours before and the suffering that he had carried in his back since the first of his brothers had Fallen years ago suddenly resurfaced, like a small - scale supernova.

"Then forgive me for being an insolent!," he said, clenching his teeth, "but what about the Plan?! Does that mean we are only your pawns?!”

“I don´t...”

“Is the Great Plan meant to make all living beings that You have created Yourself suffer?!” For the first time in his life, Raphael raised his voice. That someone had been God, and it terrified him greatly. But not enough to regret it.

"No, my son. It is true that I designed the Great Plan. But, even if it's hard to believe, it´s not... It's not my own plan, ” She confessed.

“What?,” he said. He was asking too many questions.

“Forgive me. It was never my wish for you nor any children of mine to suffer. Neither you, nor Adam, nor Eve, nor Aziraphale,” Rafael swallowed, “nor the other angels. Not even the humans who will come next.”

Raphael seemed to shrink then, as he covered himself with his own wings without realizing it, disappearing among his feathers. With his eyes full of tears and feeling completely lost, he muttered, "But... the Great Plan..."

"The Great Plan," She proceeded to explain, and it seemed that doing that was hard for Her, "is a design that exists beyond my consciousness. It was already in me when Time was born.” She paused, since even She Herself was unsure of how to word it. “The Great Plan, all possible futures that come from the same line, all beings that will be born and those who will not... It is a system that is above all, even me. I created it because it had to be created, not because it was my own will. It cannot be expressed in words. It is ... ineffable.

“...Ineffable?”

“Yes.”

The poor angel sat on the grass again, overwhelmed.

With an almost inaudible voice, he muttered, "Is there any way...?"

"There is no future in which there exists no suffering, my child, it is part of..."

"I DON´T CARE ABOUT THE GREAT PLAN!," Rafael roared, hitting the ground with his caduceus. His voice broke mid-sencence. He half-opened his eyes, and with tears running down his cheeks, he looked at his Creator. “Please... I don't want them to die. Eva, Adam, my brothers…” He couldn't avoid bringing a hand to his lips. “...Aziraphale. It is not fair that thousands and thousands of souls are doomed just for thinking freely. No... They aren´t innocent, I know! But there has to be some way to redeem them. To teach them to love humans, to teach them to love You.” He bit his lower lip, and continued speaking despite his voice trembling. “You can't let them die just like that.”

"Avoiding suffering is impossible," She repeated. “It hurts me just like it hurts you, my dear. Do not forget, even though they have Fallen, they are still my children,” She said, and She struggled to keep talking. “The demons shall remain as they are. It is impossible for me to change their condition, and believe me, I've tried.”

“...”

“However, " Her tone changed slightly. "the fate of those who you appreciate doesn't have to be... fatal.”

In that instant, Raphael understood that She was trying to make him to say the right words, and he whimpered, "Tell me what I have to do, please. I don't care what it is, if that ensures their lives.”

"It´s very difficult, Raphael. Your decision will carry a great weight that will affect all the generations that will come.”

“I do not care! If I am to die for that cause...”

The forest suddenly fell silent, although Raphael did not notice it.

He did not understand. He was right next to his Mother, the Light that guided all beings to the Truth. And yet, for the first time in his life he felt lost and completely abandoned. The foundations of his little world, the immutable world he had known all his life were about to collapse, taking with it everything he had loved so far.

He had no idea he what he had to do.

But he would do it.

"If I am to die for that cause," he repeated, with all the determination his strained voice allowed him, "I wouldn't mind at all."

She stared into his eyes, contemplating his answer. And after what looked like eons, She sighed with pain in her eyes, as if a catastrophe had swept through everything.

"You don't have to die, Raphael," She said, sadly. “But if you really want the Ineffable Plan to change its course, it will require you…” She continued, as if She knew what he was thinking. There was a moment of hesitation, and She continued, “...to sacrifice.”

Adam and Eve would be safe, he thought. Aziraphale would be safe. Humanity and the rest of angels in Heaven would be safe. If he did well, the demons would not end everything. Death would not touch Heaven.

He would do anything for having that.

"Please," he begged.

Finally, She seemed to understand there was no turning back in whatever was going to happen.

She approached him, in the same way that a mother would, and She began to explain.

At the break of dawn, stars started disappearing one by one, while animals did the opposite and woke up, some of them even leaving their warm, cozy nests.

Aziraphale sat on the edge of the wall, miserable.

It has been hours, and Crowley hasn't arrived yet.

His flaming sword kept him his only company.

A nightingale came from the Garden and sat in his shoulder, making a short, sad sound. Aziraphale sighed, petting him. He didn't know what the bird was trying to say.

Raphael was better at understanding animals.

"Where do you think he is?"

Aziraphale looked at the sky, dark even if the Sun was rising above the horizon. Raphael had explained to him how he had created stars, and his names, and why he had placed them in that way. Aziraphale thought it was a lot of work and that he could never do something like that, but he also thought it was a work worth the effort. He loved stars.

But not even stars could soothe his soul.

A terrible chill crawled down his spine. His limbs started shivering, and the bad feeling he had had since he had arrived invaded him. He hugged himself, even if it wasn't a cold night.

A shooting star as red as fire went across the sky. It was the first time he saw one, and Aziraphale thought it was really beautiful.

And then, he noticed Raphael's presence in Heaven and Earth fading. Like a flame.

"Raphael?," he said to nobody.

The nightingale tweeted, mournful, and flew away.

"Raphael?," he whispered again, barely audible.

Stars ceased their shimmering.

Aziraphale cried.

He landed in a sulfur pool.

It hurt like...

"Hell," he said, only to himself. He had never pronounced that word, and when he did, he felt a certain bond. A terrible bond.

He crawled as his limbs allowed him until he could get a hold of the edge of the pool, and then, he crawled a little bit more, leaving it behind.

Someone spoke somewhere. He couldn't see them.

"Look," the voice said, apparently to someone else, "seems like we got more allies from above"

"Yeah," said the other. "Wonder who the fuck they were in that shitty place."

He knew it. He knew his name. But it wasn't his anymore, as the strange memories trying to resurface from his mind, they weren't his. He tried to push them away, and when he did, it felt like he had just woken up from a bad nightmare. And he started forgetting.

"Hey, need a hand?"

Blindly, he took a hand offered to him and got to stand in his knees. He tried opening his eyes, but it was of no use. Sulfur was still dripping from his eyelashes, burning his eyelids and cheeks, and it hurt. It hurt too much.

Finally, he found the strenght to stand by his feet. He put his hand in what he thought it was a shoulder, and spoke.

"Take me to Lucifer," he said, and it sounded more like an order.

He didn't need to see the other's expressions to start imagining their faces.

"What?!," screamed one ot them.

"Have you gone nuts?," said the other.

"Don't you know Lucifer is now the...?"

"Take me to Lucifer. Now," he repeated. "I... I have a plan."

"What the fuck do you mean 'you have a plan'?"

"I have a plan," he said, biting his upper lip, "better than the one you have. We wouldn't have to put ourselves in danger for now. But it´ll fuck Humanity and Heaven in the long run. Trust me."

"Demons don't go trusting each other like that."

"Trust me in this one. Take me to Lucifer."

The two demons shut up for a moment. And then they decided that they had never seen someone Fall and start commanding things the second after, and that, at least, was interesting. They grabbed him by his two arms to help him walk, and against the odds, they obeyed.

And when he was before Lucifer, who they had started calling Satan, he explained his plan, and didn't left out any detail. He talked for hours. He explained that, better than a demon army, one of them could enter in the Garden of Eden without drawing attention. And that better than killing all the guards and the humans, they could tempt them to disobey God. And that better than only half a million demons to fight, they would have millions and millions of human souls that they could win over Heaven.

Someone asked how did he know all of that.

He shrugged, and he said he had had a lot of time to think while he was sauntering vaguely downwards.

Lucifer liked the idea, and he smiled when he finished talking.

It wasn't a honest smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Info about FanFic commissions, prices and condition!](https://ko-fi.com/post/INFORMACION-COMISIONES-Y8Y222P65/) (Spanish only at the moment, sorry!)


	2. Chapter 2

Six thousands years later, a couple of things have changed.

"Ducks."

"What?"

Aziraphale and Crowley are sitting in their respective armchairs. It is four in the morning. Four past seven, if we want to be accurate.

The gramophone is playing music very loudly. As always that Crowley is there, it is playing _The Best Of Queen_ in a cheap imitation to his beloved Bentley. And, same as the Bentley, it seems to act on its own accord, so it's impossible to change the songs it is playing, let alone the band.

There is no disc in the turtable.

_You're My Best Friend_ has played thrice in a row already. Crowley would like to listen to _Another One Bites The Dust_. Aziraphale is growing tired from the choirs parts.

Crowley has his legs spread all over the table. It is almost a miracle that he hasn't broken anything yet. Actually, it is probably a miracle. His shades have fallen to the tip of his nose, showing he is clearly drunk. In the other side of the room, Aziraphale is bent over himself, with his feet up in the armchair, and he has unbuttoned every possible button in his clothes because, as he says, it is too hot in there. He's sweating a lot, and his eyes are fixated in a very interesting point of the wall. He's also drunk.

"Ducksss," Crowley repeats, hissing a little.

"Heard you already. What about ducks?"

"I. I hate 'em. I hate 'em so fucking much. I wisssh I could kill them all."

"Wow. Even the little ducklings?"

Crowley seems to think very deeply for a moment. Never has someone thought as deeply as him. And then he says, "Yeah."

"Why?"

"´cos. I haaate 'em."

"Why?"

"´cos. They're ducksss."

Aziraphale nods, as if what Crowley is saying is the only Truth philosophers look for.

"In Eden," Crowley says. "In Eden, in Eden... In Eden there was a fucking lot of those little bitches. I swear, they were everywhere. A river? Ducks. A pond? Ducks. A puddle? Guess what! More fucking ducks!" He grabs a random glass from the table, full of bourbon, and mixs it with vodka. He drinks from it, and looks to Aziraphale. "I'm gonna. I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anybody. The Original Sin was witnessed by God, by the snake... Fucking beautiful, that snake. By the first woman... and a motherfucking duck. Do you think I can do the First Temptation with one of those ducks looking at me? With open eyesss, like this." He fully opens his eyes, and moves his hands in an exagerated way, as to prove his point.

"Yeeees?" Aziraphale quickly leans forward, like he's listening to the story. It probaby isn't the case, though.

"I swear it to Satan. Don't think it was easy, uh? Stopping them from putting it in the Big Book was a pain in the ass. Can you imagine it?" Crowley says, and continues with an ominous voice, "‘The woman said to the serpent, We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, our you will die. By the way, is that a duck?’"

"Sneaky bastard, yes."

"Who? The duck?"

"Nononono, you." Aziraphale sighs. "You sneaked. Don't know what you did, but you went like 'fssss', and sneaked through."

"Meee? Where?"

"In the Garden!"

"St. James Park?"

"In the Garden of Eden, you wil... wily crea... wily serpent."

"Oh."

"You fu... You played me well. Got me a demotion."

"Wasn't my fault."

"Of course it was yours! You got through my gate. Sorry, my Gate."

"Then it was your fault, don't look at me."

"But I got a demotion!" Aziraphale pours even more whiskey to his glass. He grabs some ice cubes and throws them into his drink, not really looking what he's doing. He ends with all his face wet. "Do you know how difficult is to demote an angel? I had four wings, one, two, three, four, four wings. Do you know all the paperwork it is required to do that? It was Sandalphon. Of course it was Sandalphon, because Gab, Grab, Gabriel told him so." He pulls a funny face, and says, "Uhh, look at me, I'm the Archangel Gabriel..."

"Archangel fucking Gabriel..."

"...Archangel Gabriel, and I love exercising and suddenly showing and scaring people and reading pornography, I love pornography! I would spend the rest of my days reading pornography. Oh, how gross, food!"

Crowley starts laughing, and it doesn't seem like he is going to stop any time soon. This time, he kicks a bottle off of the table. It shatters against the floor, and for some reason this seems to amuse Crowley to no end, because he keeps laughing and laughing. Aziraphale starts laughing too, even if he doesn't really know what is going on.

"Angel," Crowley tries to say, with little tears in his eyes, "angel, angel... I wish you had done that in front of Gabe's fucking face. Can you imagine it? Can you imagine it, Aziraphale? Can you imagine it? Because I totally do."

"Nooo! I would get demoted again..."

"You can blame it on me. Would get another promotion, like with the Eden, and the M25."  
Aziraphale gasps. "Excuse me? You got promoted thanks to my demotion?"

"Of course I did. First demon ever who got to sneak in the little Garden, first demon ever who tempted someone. It was a fucking flawless act, there."

"Well, actually, I get it." Aziraphale mutters with a sigh, shaking the glass a little. "You have always been devilishly good in whatever it is you do. I just mess everything up... or messed? Do we still have to work?"

"No idea. But you aren't the only one." Crowley says, and separates his legs. "I've messed up a lot through the time. And, not a 'You – Are – Getting – Demoted' kind of mess, but more like a 'You – Win – A – Holy – Bubble – Bath' kind of mess."

"That's not... not... possible. What could you ever do to anger your people? Not counting the whole stopping the Apoca... Apo... Apocalypsis thing. You got Adam and Eve out of the Garden, tempted Christ, and took credit for perverting Sodom and Gomorrah folk, for the Spanish Inquisition, for Second World War... Good demon. Great demon, you."

"Nono, I tell you I've done terrible things."

"Like what?"

"Ok, so once I fucked up all the communication systems they have Below and Beel, Belc, Beelzebub talked with Brian May's voice for like, two hours. Two. Fucking. Hours. I swear you, it was the bomb, there was someone who was also a Queen fan..."

"My dear, I don't understand how pranking your boss could you possibly get you a death sentence."

"But angel, it was fucking awesome..."

"That's not a terrible thing..."

"But..."

"You told me you've done terrible things."

"Ok, ok. I'll tell you, but if you ever tell someone else I'll throw one of your old books away, and I won't tell you which one of them it was."

Then, Crowley leans over the table and removes his shades in a vague motion, and looks a Aziraphale with the eyes of a snake.

"Do you know what the Book of Tobit is?"

Aziraphale knows. Afterall, he is the proud owner of the first and only edition of the Book of Tobit known as ‘The Book of the Lustful Flies’, in which the author made a big mistake and had Asmodeus' name, the demon of lust, written as Beelzebub. He was amused at first, but after he met Beelzebub face to face he had hidden the book in the most secret of places, maybe because of fear, maybe because of the second – hand embarrassment.

He nods.

"But that is..." Aziraphale searches for the right words in his foggy mind. "Um. Not... true, isn't it?"

"Shhhhh. Shhhhhh. Shh." Crowley starts hissing, and Aziraphale doesn't know if it because he is telling him to shut up or because of the alcohol. "It'sss all true, from the first comma until the last period. Well, some things... But most of the texts are true."

"How can that be?" Aziraphale says, and his voice gets a little funny when he does so, but Crowley doesn't comment it at all. "The Archangel Raphael disappeared long before that. Before my demotion, even. And the text clearly mentions—"

Crowley shakes his head and points at himself. Aziraphale frowns.

"What?"

Not answering to the question, Crowley points at himself again. Aziraphale tries to understand, and frowns even more.

"You were...?"

Crowley nods, pulling a strange face.

Aziraphale laughs very loudly, a weird thing coming from him, and says, "Come on. You´re telling me did all those things, like, like the journey with that boy... and healing that man of...?"

"Yeah."

"And you defeated the demon of lust and chained him and freed that family from the curse that...?"

"Yeah. Well, it wasn't actually like that, but yeah," he says, and his tone explains that it is a thing to talk about other day.

"But why?"

Crowley shrugs.

"Did you really use the name of one of the four Archangels? Couldn't you come up with a name or something like that?"

The next thing Crowley coherently mumbles leaves Aziraphale totally speachless, both for what he says and how he says it, probably thanks to the alcohol in his blood. Aziraphale can't believe that in a six thousands years worth of friendship, he hasn't mentioned it even once.

"Oh, yeah. No. No, no. It's because I panicked when they asked me for my name, and that was the name I had, ya know, when I sauntered through Above."

Aziraphale blinks.

“Your name…? Raphael?”

“Yeah?”

And then he blinks again.

Since Aziraphale isn't answering, Crowley keeps talking, mixing up some words. "The fish thing was a joke. The boy believed it— who wouldn't believe that kind of bullshit coming from a winged shiny bitch? A gorgeous winged shiny bitch, mind you. But then things got pretty messed up, and I started liking the boy, and like, a demon helping a whole family so they can be freed from the curse of one of your own bosses looks fucking awful in the paperwork. It took some fixings and some little miracles, and then I offered a little bribery to the guy writing that part of the book, and voilá." He stops, and takes a sip from his drink. "It pissed off your people, because a long time disappeared Archangel screwing around in the name of the Big Boss who then disappears again... I swear you, it was one of my best jobs, really. Almost got caught by my people, then things would have got truly fucked up.

Crowley smirks, expectantly, like he has just told the best joke in the world in an English pub full of people. However, when he sees Aziraphale doesn't laugh at all he starts expecting a earful. Something like 'How could you pretend to be an angel, did you know what could have happen to you if someone had discovered it?', followed by a happy grin.

But Aziraphale is livid, so much that Crowley fears he's had an ethyl coma and he's passed out in his armchair, without even thinking they are angels and they can't have ethyl comas.

Finding it strange, Crowley sits correctly and leans over the table, and pull on his shades again.

"Angel?," he says, but he doesn't obtain any response. "Aziraphale?"

This time, Aziraphale squints at him. Then, with a shaky hand he removes his glasses and leaves them next to the glasses and bottles in the table. He puts his head between his hands, and Crowley tries to guess what's going on with the angel: in the best scenario, he's just very drunk, or maybe he has just fallen asleep. But Crowley knows Aziraphale, both sober and drunk, well enough to notice something is wrong.

Aziraphale is still in his armchair, in the same position. For a while, is just as if Crowley had stop existing in the little backshop. However, when Crowley stands and gets closer to him, Aziraphale lifts his head, even if he doesn't look at him right away. Not knowing what to do, Crowley tries talking again.

"Angel?" Both hear the bitter tone in Crowley's voice, which wasn't there before. This finally makes Aziraphale look at him, and Crowley clears his throat with a feeling of uneasiness.

Aziraphale lets out a long sigh, and it is so long that Crowley thinks he hears his voice tremble a little at the end. He whispers, "Crowley... Crowley, Crowley... Are you the Archangel Raphael?"

After some seconds, Crowley moves awkwardly by Aziraphale's side, even more uncomfortable than before, and close his eyes under the safety of his shades.

"Don't fuck with me, Aziraphale... Yes. I mean, no?" He thinks about it, and then he sits in the floor, next to Aziraphale's armchair. "No, no. No. I mean, I've been him. I think. In a way, I'm still—"

"Crowley."

"Ok, yeah" Crowley growls, annoyed. "What does that have to do with me, though? I was telling you an amazing story, and I would love going back to that."

But Aziraphale is deeply lost in thought, and doesn't hear him. He vacillates, but then he grabs his glass from the table and drinks all the whiskey in it at once. Crowley is shocked.

"Angel, I think you should sober up. You are..." He doesn't finish the sentence.

Aziraphale answers by eagerly shaking his head.

"I... I don't think I can cope with this being sober," he mutters. "Tell me, Crowley, what do you remember about before you Fell?"

Crowley frowns, and it takes him a lot not to respond in an aggressive way: "Fuck, angel, you're telling me that as if we had never talked about it."

"My dear..."

"I know I asked too many questions, that I was an Archangel, and that my name was Raphael. Nothing more, angel, is the same I've been telling you all these years."

"You never talked about your rank. Much less your name."

"Didn't seem like it mattered."

Crowley looks at Aziraphale, who seems absent from reality. He can't understand why those two facts about himself have left him all shaken up. Could it be because he believes Crowley don't trust him enough to tell him? Crowley bites his lip, trying to ignore the sudden burst of regret. He never dared to think about how Aziraphale would react to one of the angel most well – known being a demon. And since he really didn't want to know it, he hadn't tell him. It wasn't like he could talk about anything else apart of his name. He remembered absolutely nothing.

That´s why he doesn´t understand why Aziraphale is acting like that. An angel, and a demon, hereditary enemies, nothing more, nothing less. Having one name or another doesn´t usually change the natural order of things.

For just a moment, Aziraphale stares at him and seems to be thinking a lot. As if someone is revealing him a dark, hidden secret. Crowley looks at him, not knowing what is happening. And then, he witnesses the variety of expressions that Aziraphale shows.

He first closes his blue eyes. A little smile appears, and Crowley doesn't know how to take it. To him, it is a relieved smile, or a melancholic smile, or a sad smile, or maybe all of it at the same time, and that confuses him.

Aziraphale leans over him. He delicately takes Crowley by his cheeks, surrounding his face with his hands. Crowley allows it, because the sudden touch surprises him so much that he just can't move. He can't help but feeling intimidated by Aziraphale's eyes, that inspect his own as if looking for something very singular in them.

And then, a tear.

And another. And another one.

"Excuse me, I'm..." Aziraphale sobs, sniffling and making a big noise. He is still touching Crowley's cheeks.

"What's going on?" Crowley asks, more worried than surprised, and he thinks about sobering up, because he doesn't have a clue of what's happening.

"I'm, I'm really sorry, I don't..." He laughs, maybe with a little too much high pitched voice. "I don't know what's wrong with me, dear."

"If I can help..."

"It's just... Could I hug you?"

Crowley swallows, caught off guard. "Um. Yeah, of course."

Aziraphale is too drunk to move. Another bottle falls to the floor in the process. Crowley ends in a very uncomfortable position, and knows his back will ache. But they hug each other, in the end.

Outside Crowley's field vision, Aziraphale let it go and starts shaking between his arms. Two tears roll through Crowley's cheeks, too, and he doesn't know why he is crying. The tears fall in Aziraphale's head, and end mixing with his blond hair.

The motive doesn't matter at all. It can wait.

Crowley closes the distance, and let his head rest against Aziraphale's.

It doesn't seem like they are going to stop crying soon.

They have a lot to catch up with each other. Outside the bookshop, a nightingale sings.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As I already said, you can read this work in Spanish here: [**[Good Omens] Un Salto De Fe**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316499)
> 
> First, I want to apologize for any grammar mistakes. English is not my first language, and even if I´ve dedicated all my efforts to make it enjoyable, it may have a lot of errors. Please, feel free to comment any mistakes, weird phrasing or advice, you would be helping me a lot and I would be forever grateful.
> 
> This is my Summer 2019 Good Omens Fan Exchange gift for @wrongomens on Twitter! I worked with the prompts "Falling For You" and "Crowley as Archangel Raphael". They were super fun to work with. I´m sorry that it´s a little late, I really hope you like it!
> 
> Writing this has helped me a lot, because I haven´t written a serious FanFic in years, so thanks to @hastur_lavista, creator of the Exchange, for working so hard and being so kind, they really made participating in the event fun and easy, and I still don´t know how they organized everything. Thanks to @wrongomens, obviously, for the prompts. They were one of the first Good Omens accounts I started following when I got in the fandom, and I really love their daily textposts. Please, check out their account!!! I also have to thank GO fandom, including Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Michael Sheen and everyone who worked on the series, because they have become one of my greatest inspirations! The fandom is so nice, it´s a real blessing to be here!!
> 
> I don´t want to make this too long. My Twitter is @EmpyLoveToHate if you wanna talk about Good Omens or anything else!
> 
> [Info about FanFic commissions, prices and conditions!](https://ko-fi.com/post/INFORMACION-COMISIONES-Y8Y222P65/) (Spanish only at the moment, sorry!)


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